One of the greatest scenes in motion picure history.

Merry Christmas :)

-Am

Late For Work.

-AM

Lyndsey's A God.

Normally I don't like it when musicians change a great song during a live performance. So often it seems like they're only doing it because they're bored and sick of the album version. But Lyndsey seems to be enjoying this whole-heartedly. You can tell by the way he moves that he's really feeling this song. He is an incredible guitar player, his right hand looks like a spider crawling across the strings. Brilliant. He's a smart man and it's a great song.

-AM

Screeched In.

-AM

Since We're At It. (The World's Greatest Tea Room Orchestra).

-AM

Can We?

The looks that Paul and John give each other make this great. Before the tension and turmoil. They were having fun. I've just realized how much the lyrics apply to the later stages of the Beatles. Both of them fighting for control. Sometimes I think it's better to leave out the bitter details.

-AM

Inspiration.

-AM

A Real Life Amelie!

-AM

le fabuleux destin

One Can Dream.

This man claims that in an alternate universe, The Beatles never broke up and are still touring. He even provides a “new” Beatles album for download...

Check it out. Read the story.

It's fascinating (and a little depressing) because I wonder, pretty much on a daily basis, what the Beatles would sound like today.

-AM

//o-o\\  (o>o)  dಠ.ಠb  (◔.◔)

Untitled.

I’ve had too many interesting calls to document them all, but this one always sticks out in my mind. As usual with this job (or anyone’s job I suppose), it might be a case of “you had to be there”. But I’ll try to paint the picture.

Friday night, about 2:30am. Called to a single vehicle ATV accident on the outskirts of the city, down some back roads. All we see as we roll up in the dark are flashing lights from the fire truck and spotlights aimed at the trees lining the road. We see reflective jackets in amongst the trees crouched down on the ground. A red four-wheeler is stopped against a group of pine trees just off the road. A lot of damage to the front fenders and tires. It was obvious he was moving pretty fast, and then came to an abrupt stop against the trees. About 5 feet ahead and to the right is where everyone is gathered. We push through the brush and see a young man in the fetal position with a red helmet on. No face-mask on the helmet. We try to get his attention but there is no response. Great, I’m thinking. My first code and he’s in the middle of a damn jungle wrapped around broken trees and sharp branches. As we call his name he starts to moan. That’s a relief, so we begin planning how to get him out.

He’s on his side so we need to roll him over onto his back to get him on the board. But there’s not enough room for the board because of the trees. So as I hold c-spine we have to drag him towards the edge of the trees. As we start to move him he starts to wake up. It becomes apparent that he’s been drinking, and it’s pretty much downhill for us from there. He begins to struggle out of our grips and yell that he’s going to punch us all “in the fucking face” and “beat the shit” out of us etc. Typical drunk talk. We move him enough to roll him over and as we roll him I begin to see little cuts on his face, and then when I see the other side of his face I see that he’s cut his lip from the bottom right down the right side of his chin, and now his lower lip is basically hanging off of his face. So nothing major, but he’s impaired and we can’t rely on him for assessment. Judging from the facial injuries he could very well have injured his head or neck. So we get the collar on and get him situated on the board and begin to get the straps on. All the while he’s screaming at us to let go and that he’ll punch/kick us.

Once we get him strapped to the board the straps become his main focus. Every time we click a buckle in he pushes the release button. We hold his arms down as best we can and get him into the ambulance. The police try to get some information but it’s useless. They let us get to the hospital. It wasn’t long before I was regretting letting that officer out of the truck.

Did I mention this was my patient? So I’m in the back alone with this guy for about half an hour en route to the hospital. It felt like an eternity, trust me. I’m normally a very patient person, but I was yelling at this guy just as loud as he was at me, and fighting just as hard. He would say that he didn’t want to go to the hospital, that he was fine, he could go home and get cleaned up and get to the party. I would tell him that his chin was hanging off of his face and he would tell me I was wrong. I told him I’d get a mirror for him and he told me to shove it. I told him to stop touching his face and he would pull at his lip. He would unbuckle the straps and I would grab his arms and buckle them again. He would look at me with eyes full of rage and tell me not to ever touch him, or he’d kick my ass. Well, I’m sorry but you're in no shape to decide what’s best for you. I would explain that we’re trying to help and just as he was quieting down, I thought it was sinking in for him, he’d reach up to his head straps, pull them off and start yelling at me again. His girlfriend was up front with my partner so I tried to be polite to this guy, but it just wasn’t working. The trip in pretty much went like this: I would hold him down, he would yell, I would yell back, his girlfriend would cry, my partner would flash a big smile in the rear-view mirror. My partner had to stop the truck no less than three times to come back and help me strap him back in. He also called for a police intercept in the city which I was looking forward to.

After my patient lost interest in the straps I sat back and began to fill in my chart, thinking he had calmed down. He knew I was not paying attention and every few seconds I’d look up to see him grabbing at the IV line hanging from the ceiling. I told him several times to let go. I told him, I swear to God you let go of that right now. This encouraged him. the next time he reached up he pulled the line right out of the bag. Fluid spraying everywhere and I couldn’t get the bag off the ceiling so I ripped it out. I yelled at my partner for the police intercept and he replied that they were no longer meeting us. Grrrreat.

So I did my call in to the hospital, with his screaming voice in the background, I doubt they heard a word I said. When we arrived there were two police officers. In the ER there were about 10 people waiting for us. They hadn’t heard a thing I had said, but they heard my patient alright. I was worried that he would change his tune for all of the female nurses there, he might try to play the nice guy like so many young, drunk patients. But he didn’t. As the nurses leaned over he threw out more threats of punches to the face. I was somewhat glad about that. I feel like no one would have believed just how belligerent this guy was, but he brought the same show to the hospital.

I only realized after just how funny, and how much fun, it actually was. I forgave my partner for laughing, because I was laughing too as we traded impressions of this guy. This is why I love working on weekends. Throw a little alcohol in the mix and you’ll meet some interesting people.

-AM

The Colder Water.

-AM

BRB.

I’m starting back at work tomorrow, so I’ll be off the radar for a while. I’ve been working on some new stuff I hope to have posted next week, though. ‘Til then.

-AM

A Simple Flowchart.

-AM

Karl.

-AM

Take Me Back.

Some of you must remember these from YTV. I didn’t want to overload you with the nostalgia but I couldn’t leave any out. They’re all so great. I still find that some of the music pops into my head at odd times even to this day. And these haven’t been broadcast in some 14-15 years. I have to say I still enjoy The Pyramid music, as well as the Rubber Duck song. What kid couldn’t?

I can still picture my parent’s living room as it was back then as I sat on the sofa and was totally entranced by this music and the animation that to me, now, is obviously right out of the early 90’s. It reminds me of not having a care in the world, other than to watch YTV for hours on end, of course. How things have changed.

I hope they bring back similar memories for someone else. Enjoy.

-AM

Thoughts.

Does anyone else hate those express checkouts at Wal-Mart? I feel like we’re being herded in there like cattle. Everyone lines up at the gate and no-one moves an inch until they hear, “Please go to… 3”. Before you know it they’ll be sticking us with electric cattle prods when it’s our turn to pay, and we’ll probably just grunt at them. I would.

**********************************

One of my favourite things to do in the fall is not to admire the colours, or decorate for Halloween, or enjoy the cool air. It’s to drive as fast as I can through piles of leaves on the road, because when I look in the mirror and see them blowing around behind me I feel like I’m driving the Batmobile into the Batcave.

-AM

one sweet dream

In Case Of Emergency...

...just do nothing...?

[From our base in Quispamsis]

-AM

A Typical Scene.

-AM

It's Coming.

The view out my car window yesterday morning in Saint John.

-AM

In-Flight Safety.

-AM

David Sings.

-AM

"New" Is My Middle Name.

On the daily schedules they print off and post at each station, they've placed "NEW" between my first and last name. So much for keeping that a secret. I'm even used to introducing myself that way, now. I think I'll actually be sad when it disappears, when I turn into just another name.

**********************************

So anyway, here I am, just about three months into the job. We have a lot of catching up to do, don't we? The time has flown by. It feels like I've only been out there for a few days, but maybe that's because I feel like there's still so much for me to see.

It seems like it was just a few days ago that I was showing up for my first shift. I was terrified, nervous and I felt like I had forgotten everything, which was maybe partly true. On that first day as I was checking our truck pre-shift, I realized that as soon as I had finished writing my final exams, and passed my final scenarios, I started forgetting things. As I thought about this, and I as I struggled to remember how to work the monitor, too scared or shy to ask for help, I sat alone in the back of the truck and put my head in my hands wondering what the hell I got myself into. Can I actually do this? Did I get lucky on all of those tests? Will I just embarrass myself? It's made even harder when you're looked at as the one that's just out of school, therefore you should know everything, right?

My head was cleared as soon as we got our first call. A man assaulted at a residence in a lower-income area of town. Don't know the whole story but he had been cut up pretty bad with a broken pool cue. Big lacerations all over his face and head. As soon as we walked in and saw this man lying in a pool of blood on the floor you'd better believe all of the self pity went right out the window. I went from feeling like the rookie didn't know squat about working calls to feeling like I had been doing this for years.

So when I think back to that first day it still seems like it was yesterday, but for some reason I still can't imagine my life before I started this job, and I can't imagine life without it. It's all I know right now and I love every second of it. Can't wait to start it all over again tomorrow.

Take care.

-AM

even walls fall down

Just FYI.

When you are driving too fast down the street on your motorcycle and a car in the oncoming lane is turning, please wait until you know for sure which direction they're turning before you try to fly past them. Trust me.

-AM

Am I Paranoid?

I think my Ipod wants me to commit suicide. This is the playlist it came up with on the way home today:

REM - Everybody Hurts
Elliot Smith - Needle In The Hay
Sinead O'Connor - Nothing Compares 2 U (yeah, yeah...)

And the kicker:

Nirvana - I Hate Myself and Want to Die

I mean, come on!

-AM

The Bronson Maneuver.

-AM

Busy Busy Busy.

I have some new stuff in the works, promise...

Car accidents, parking lot beat-downs, police stand-offs, fist-fights in the back of the ambulance, arguing with paranoid schizophrenic and dementia patients, and so much more. Stay tuned.

-AM

We've Come A Long Way, Baby.

So. Here we are. It's been just over a month since my last post. Time to pull the cobwebs down (again) and get up to date.

Well I literally have no idea where to even start. So in a nutshell:

Traveled to Moncton to finish up my preceptorship (had a blast), wrote my final for the Paramedic Academy in Moncton, anxiously waited for my mark, passed it, passed my scenario testing in Fredericton, then prepared for my Paramedic Association exam, wrote it, anxiously waited for another mark, passed it, saw Paul McCartney in Halifax (that's another story altogether, you have no idea), went through the two day "hiring process" (just another way of saying "more testing"), and got my starting schedule for my job in Saint John, which I start this Saturday. Oh and I forgot to mention that I did all of this while moving into a new apartment.

Nervous about the job? To say the least, yes. But not so much about the job itself, just working in a new city at a new hospital with new people. That's something I'll get used to fast, I assume. Not much else I can say about it right now, really. My brain still hasn't regrouped from the mush it had become over the last few weeks. Still a bit scatterbrained but a few days off has done me well I think. I may be insanely busy over the next week or so, but I look forward to passing on some good stories as a rookie paramedic, none of this student whining "exams, scenarios, blah blah blah..".

Until then.

-AM

Like Peas In A Pod.

Like peanut butter and raspberry jam on warm toast.
Mmmmm...

-AM

Still Alive.

No, I haven't abandoned this. I'm still here, still kickin'. Just barely though, these days. Hell week is fast approaching and at the end of it I'll either be a very happy, or very sad little boy.

It seems like someone up there has been trying to make things harder for me. Good news has not been coming my way, and smiles have been hard to come by lately, so let's hope for the best come the end of all this, shall we?

-AM

Your Blue Veins.

Bored. Procrastinating. Just watching some videos and randomly decided to share this. A lot of you may know that I'm a huge Jack White fan. Well, if you've ever wondered exactly why, here's a pretty damn good reason, I think:



-AM

My Office.

- AM

This guy is a f***ing ninja.

-AM

The Black Hole.

-AM

Halifax, July 11th!

-AM

The Cart Boy.

This is the original Trailer Park Boys short film from 1995. Less facial hair, and Julian is Jason, but it's the same guys:



-AM

Meet The Spy.

-AM

Crash Course.

Things had been fairly slow over the last 2 nights until about 2:30 on Saturday morning, when our radio chirped up dispatching us to a motor vehicle accident.

"Patient's head is pinned beneath the vehicle."

Trust me, whatever you're thinking right now is exactly what I was thinking when I heard it. I was expecting another fender bender until then. We arrived on the type of scene that I had been waiting for. As students, the type of scene we dream about. It was a rural road, almost in the middle of nowhere. No street lights, so the the only illumination when we arrived were the fire truck spotlights aimed at the car and the flashing lights from every other vehicle. I could hardly hear anything over the engines and the spot lights were blinding.

The first thing I noticed is that there was no car on the road. Everyone seemed to be peering over the guardrail down a steep embankment at the edge of the forest. As I walked over I couldn't help but watch the lights flash by against the trees. All I could see was white, red, white, red, etc. moving from right to left, with my shadow jumping from side to side.

I looked over the side to see the bottom of a car facing back up at the road. The top had been almost totally flattened and the car was resting against a tree on an angle with the passenger windows flat on the ground. The passenger's head was sort of outside the car pinned under the beam between the front and read windows (the "B" post), drifting in and out of consciousness. Alive, though.

A closer ambulance had taken over there, and we let the firefighters do their thing. They began cutting, so we tracked down the driver. Amazingly, he had just a small cut on his head. He had left the vehicle himself and found help. He knew he was in big trouble, and kept asking about his friend. Those are hard questions to answer. When you know he is trapped beneath a car, struggling to breathe. Just tell him "I don't know, someone else is working on it". Not the most reassuring words, but what else can you say without scaring him even more, or lying and saying he's doing just fine? One thing about this job is that you have to choose your words very carefully.

**********************

Shortly after we cleared from that call, another accident.

Downtown, a lady had come down the hill and t-boned a car full of teens. The side of their car was punched in a good 6 inches, but it was the the lady in her SUV that was of concern. She was quite scared an anxious, crying an complaining of pain in her neck. My preceptor held her head steady while I looked her over. She'd occasionally tell me she couldn't feel her hands, arms, or whatever, and then change her mind. She was just scared but we took all precautions.

The plan was to lift her up to get the edge of the spine board underneath and then spin her onto her back. I was at the driver's side door, with a firefighter in the passenger seat. We had one of the belts from out board to slide under her thighs and buttocks to lift her up. Now, this lady was not exactly tiny. Quite the opposite. As I wrapped the belt around my wrist to get a good grip, I heard one of the firemen behind me say to his partner, "I don't think he's strong enough". I turned around and looked him in the eye (he realized I'd heard him) as we counted to three and lifted her straight off her seat as they slid the board under her. He didn't say a word to me afterward.

I had a difficult time accepting how much control I have at a scene. With an injured patient, police and firefighters will look to me for instructions. My preceptor jokingly told me that the firefighters will do anything the attending medic says: "Scratch your back, rub your shoulders, massage your scalp...", okay I get the idea. It's a crash lesson in assertiveness that's hard to learn when you're not sure if you're even doing things right. A medic I was with the other day sent me in first to a chest pain call and as he entered, sat in the largest chair he could find in the lady's living room, legs crossed, arms on the arm rests, looking like a king on his throne and just watched me. I'm glad he did. It's the best way to learn. I don't even ask questions on a call anymore because I know exactly what they'll say: "What do you think?". I know they won't let me kill anyone. I just do what I've learned.

I enjoy being the one others look to on these calls, when I know what to do. I'll have to avoid power trips and try not to abuse it. I can't see me doing that anyway. Just to cover myself though, to you firefighters out there, if we're ever working a call together and I tell you to massage my shoulders, I'm (probably) joking.

-AM

because we separate like ripples on a blank shore

"Gorgeous Man".

-AM

Rock Star.

-AM

Closed Doors.

First rotation is over with. It had it's quiet moments, and a few interesting calls in between. I'm definitely making huge steps in ping pong.

On my fourth shift, overnight, we were called to a stabbing at an apartment downtown. It was pouring rain and about 2am at this time. As we were arriving, our dispatch added that it was possibly self inflicted. We got to the scene along with three police officers. They entered first and we followed. It was a big, run down, dirty place on the middle floor of a house. The hallway light didn't work, so they used their flashlights. It turns out most of the lights didn't work, and no one would answer their calls of "City Police!", so we had to go looking.

I've always told myself that I would never do anything that could get me hurt at work, or killed. I was just so caught up in how cool it all was. I felt like I was on a cop show. Knocking on doors in dark rooms and then throwing the door open if no one answered. It occurred to me after opening a couple doors that this was a stabbing call, and what if the "stabber" was still here? So then I was a bit more cautious. I looked down a dark hallway and at the end I saw another door, this one with light coming from around the edges. Maybe I've watched too many movies, but it was one of the scariest things I've ever seen. The "ones with the guns" went first, and I think we were all expecting to find a body on the floor. I hate to be anti-climactic, but there was nothing.

To me that was even more strange. The apartment was totally quiet, nobody around. No blood. The police never found anyone and we were never called back. I thought I was finally going to get to see something other than a patient being short of breath. Maybe next time, if I'm lucky... and someone else isn't.

-AM

i am the son and heir of nothing in particular

Dead Leaves.

-AM

Reverse Order.

I sort of noticed an interesting little trend recently.

A friend and I were having a discussion about how our parents are getting into newer technology, but how we are getting into older things. For example, our parents are learning how to use their Ipods, whereas we are huddled around record players. We'd laugh at our parents as they can't seem to figure out the buttons, and wonder why the music won't start when they push "play", but then at the same time I sit staring at my record player wondering why it won't spin. Working with older technology will certainly take you down a notch. Not so smart now, huh?

I love going to the theater, it's one of my favourite things to do. I just being there, I love the atmosphere and I love seeing a new movie. Lately though, My parents will ask if I've been to the theater to see the latest movies, and I haven't, because I've been staying in watching movies from the 40s and 50s. They're better than a lot of what's out now, I can tell you. Sunset Boulevard, Casablanca, Vertigo... it's the dialogue that I love. There's a reason these are considered classics. There isn't a single line in one of those movies that doesn't have to be there. Every line is essential to the feel and story. They knew how to write a movie back then.

So if you can find a cheap record player, buy it. Best Buy sells records now, there's a reason for that, too. And the next time you find yourself wandering around Blockbuster for hours trying to make up your mind, try searching out some of those movies that you've heard about, but always thought were "too old to be good". That was my problem, but I learned a lesson and discovered some new favourites. Give them a chance.

-AM

we all shine on

Why, Fox? WHY!?!

-AM

FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

Day One.

It's in the books.

I have to say, I had a great time. Despite anything keeping me down, I couldn't help but feel a bit happy riding around in the back of that ambulance. There has been so much pressure put on us over this school year, I was beginning to second guess myself. Did I make a mistake? Can I actually do this?

As I sat there I realized that I was not so nervous, and I felt like I was doing what I should be doing. For one thing, my preceptor and his partner are great. I don't think I could have asked for a better one. That can make or break a student. Now it's all up to me. And really, it's fun to ride around and basically just hang out, until that next call comes. The calls are obviously the highlight of the day for the medics. That's one thing that I found very refreshing to see. I guess I've worked too many jobs in the past with too many other disgruntled employees. Instead of grumbling when Medic Center calls their truck number, they perk up.

That's not to say they don't enjoy the down time. I witnessed a pretty epic ping-pong match today at one of our posts. My eyes were glued to that ball. I mean, the two medics I was riding with, they are amazing at ping-pong. Seriously. Watched some movies too. I think you'd be surprised just how much of that goes on. The Paramedic Academy should put "learn to play ping-pong and become a movie critic" in their next brochure. I just wish they taught ping-pong at our school, then I might have a chance. On the other hand, maybe it's not such a good idea to beat my preceptor at his own game. Or anything.

-AM

nothing lasts forever, and we both know hearts can change

Penniless And Tired.

Nothing terribly special about this video, though it does seem pretty fitting, and his obvious love of goats is maybe a little disturbing. The video is right out of the 70s, only this was made last year. I've just been listening to this band a lot lately, and this song especially.

He Doesn't Know Why by Fleet Foxes


-AM

would you wait for me?

Another One Down.

Well I've passed PHTLS. It was a pretty intense and stressful couple of days, especially after 99% of the class failed the pre-test! But it's done. As far as I know most of the class made it through.

Now, I'm moving onto preceptorship. Starts Monday morning. 6am. I'm definitely a little nervous, because I don't quite know what to expect, in terms of what I'll be doing for the first week or so. I'm not quite ready to lead a call so I might have to observe and get into the swing of things first. Running a call on a sick human being is a hell of a lot different than goofing around in class with a mannequin. I've got the basics down, which was the whole point, but when you have someone in front of you who can hardly breathe... well, "stressful" would be an understatement.

I hear my preceptor is a good guy, though, so as long as he understands that I'm nervous, and doesn't mind answering endless streams of questions then I think we'll get along fine. This is a huge step... here goes.

*************************************

Oh, and here's another cool video for you.

Autumn Story by Firekites



Another stop-motion clip. We all know how hard it is to erase a chalk board and keep it clean. What I love about this video is that they used it to their advantage. After each frame they erase the previous image, leaving a faded outline of it behind the new one. Oh, and I love the teeth falling down to become a house.

Speak soon...

-AM

things fall apart

Sleep To Dream.

These are just too good to not share with you. So here's one more.

Her Morning Elegance by Oren Lavie



"In this stop motion video, a young woman is seen literally walking through her dreams, all from her bed."

There will be more to come, I'm sure.

Right now I'm busy cramming for my PHTLS exam and scenario tomorrow... wish me luck. I always need it.

-AM

Genius.

-AM

Moving Pictures!

Since it seems like you can't watch them anywhere else these days, here's another interesting music video (full-screen button is right beside the "vimeo" logo, hit it):

Skeleton Boy by Friendly Fires



"The three piece band plays and dances around in a small room dressed all in black as small white styrofoam balls are blown around. A skeleton is outlined on each of their outfits with double sided tape and as the song progresses, more and more styrofoam sticks to the tape, creating the outline of a skeleton."

Brilliant.

-AM

Part Two - The ER (Bad Luck).

(Survived the trip to Montreal and back, by the way. Although some people out there still need to learn the art of "driving to arrive".)

Now before we start, I want to remind you to read my little "disclaimer" beside my photo there on the top right. Although the events here are more or less unchanged, I took some liberties with the identifying details. I'm a little paranoid, but in this business, I believe that's an advantage.

So, I want to tell you about the night I spent helping out in the ER, which just so happened to be the night of Last Class Bash. The night that students from both Universities in this relatively small town are celebrating the end of their classes. Drinking, obviously. Every single person we met after about 10 pm had been drinking. I'm not exaggerating either, I mean everyone.

Although they had all been drinking, some were not to blame for whatever put them in the hospital that night. Some certainly were. (This is really the night that inspired my previous written post). Drunk patients with their drunk friends. With various injuries: serious, minor, or imagined. Self-inflicted or otherwise, we saw it all that night. And although alcohol was always a factor somehow, and some patients may very well have deserved what they got, some were just plain unlucky. It seemed to become a theme for the night.

My first indication of this was a young man who was walking across a fast food parking lot, minding his own business, and was hit by a speeding car. It was a hit and run. Apparently the patient was also seizing on scene. He did have some pre-existing neurological problems. When he was brought in, he seemed to be alert, although quite anxious. The nurse began with the quick, basic neuro exam which consists of asking the patient their name, date, where they are, and what happened to them. He passed the first question just fine, "My name is Joey", (not the real name, of course). The nurse asked, "Do you know the date?". Reply, "My name is Joey... my name is Joey". Okay... yes, we've established that, but can you tell me what happened to you? "I don't know... my name is Joey, my name is Joey...". Obviously a fractured leg was no longer the main concern.

While I was with this patient, I overheard a radio patch to another ambulance. Two unresponsive patients at a motor vehicle accident. I knew we'd be getting no sleep tonight. They wheeled them in. These guys were in rough shape. All cuts and bruises and road rash. Fading in and out of consciousness. I learned that they had both been drinking. One was the driver, the other his passenger. They had gone off the road, single vehicle accident, and rolled the car into a field. Only the passenger was well enough to leave the car and return to the road to flag down help. In keeping with our theme, as he walked to the side of the road he was struck by another car. Another hit and run. The next driver to pass by called 911.

Shortly after that, another unfortunate young man came through the doors. The story here was that he had stepped in front of a car and had broken his femur. Now this is not just another broken bone, femur fractures are taken very seriously. The reason is that your femoral artery travels just parallel to the bone down your leg. When there is a complete fracture there is also the danger that the broken bone could sever the artery, causing you to bleed out.

He had obviously not touched the artery, so first on the to-do list was to stabilize the broken femur. The doctor and nurses fiddled with the traction splint while I stood back. (I began to explain how to use it, because we had many times in class, but I'm "just a student", so they didn't pay me much attention. Others were more receptive, but I knew when to just back off). The patient had been sedated for the splinting, and if you've ever had a bone re-set, you'll know why. Something that was interesting to see was how much the leg had been shortened. He had suffered a complete fracture, so the muscles and tendons in the leg pulled the bones together, looking something like this. Leaving his left leg about 3 inches shorter that his right. The doctor stretched his leg down to even the length, and I grabbed a hold of his thigh to hold the fracture steady. I'll tell you, I have never felt anything quite like it. There was nothing holding his thigh together, the flesh and muscle were like jelly in my hands. Sorry, that was gross. I still have to get used to telling these stories.

The splint was applied. Unfortunately, during the procedure, the effect of the sedation had been amplified by the amount of alcohol in his system. Just as I let go of his leg, he stopped breathing. The respiratory therapist began to ventilate him with the bag valve mask (BVM). I pitched in and took over. He was fine, but he was so heavily sedated that his body could not breathe for itself. Another first for me. The responsibility of knowing that if you don't squeeze air into this man's lungs, he will die. Obviously there were lots of people around to keep an eye on him, but still, it's a feeling that will control you. And when I would test his body's respiratory effort, by removing the mask to see if he could breathe on his own, and nothing would happen, I'd realize just how much we depend on others to keep us alive when we are unconscious and have no idea what's happening. That drove home the fact that I can't be getting into this job for the recognition.

I was with him, squeezing the BVM and holding his jaw up to keep his tongue out of his throat, for about 40 minutes before he recovered. All of this, and all the while I am thinking, "Why did he step in front of that car? Suicide attempt, just drunk and being stupid?". I put it down to alcohol and that he had probably made some sort of terribly stupid decision. When he awoke, he told his parents the story, who then passed it onto me. I learned to always wait for the first person account. Apparently he had just left his building, and as he walked past, saw several others beating up a younger man beside the building. He went over to see what was happening, and tried to pull off one of the attackers. All he wanted to do was help. They immediately turned their attention to him, and began to chase him. He ran, and as he ran he came to a snowbank. He ran over the bank, and landed in the road, and was immediately struck by the car.

Bad luck.

-AM

the only living boy in New York

This dude could definitely kick your ass.

-AM

Help!

Some people wonder how we can show sympathy for certain patients who may have caused their own problems. The ones that have "brought it on themselves".

I often wondered this same thing, and I was worried that I might not be able to treat all patients the same way. Sometimes it is hard, I won't lie. I met a patient who was hooked up to every machine imaginable. Tubes down his throat, several IV lines in each arm, machines basically doing all of the work. It was hard to watch him lay there struggling to live. I wondered how someone could end up this way, and how unfair it seemed. The nurse told me that he had smoked at least a pack of cigarettes a day for almost 40 years. I stopped wondering, and any questions of fairness vanished. It was hard not to keep that in mind as we were with him, but we didn't change the way we treated him.

I'm no longer worried about how I'll treat patients. I've proven to myself that I can look past their downfalls. It could be because I'm new to this, and I get too nervous to think about anything other than what I'm supposed to be doing, but I have a feeling that I won't change. I'll make a conscious effort not to. It's not our job to treat based on lifestyle preferences, no matter how much they have been to blame for someone's current condition. That night, especially, I learned that when I'm standing next to a patient on a hospital bed, the only thing on my mind is that I want to help.

-AM

i need somebody, not just anybody

Food Fight.

This is an odd little animation that recreates conflicts from WWII up to present day warfare... with food. The food of each country involved. Strange, yes, but strangely entertaining. Or maybe it's just me. (The pile of pasta looking stuff is beef stroganoff, by the way. Russian.)



Hope this does you over until I finish writing up the next little updates. In the meantime I'm also trying to squeeze in some practice and studying for school. Never a dull moment anymore.

-AM

Road Trip.

Well, it looks like I'll be heading to Montreal in several hours. Just until Sunday, though. I'll try my best to get lost and wind up up with something interesting to tell you. Trying to get lost is so much fun. Just keep turning corners you've never turned before. You never know what you'll find.

If that fails I'll still have hospital stories to tell when I get back.

Have a great weekend, everyone.

-AM

le tir... et le but!

Part One - Reality Check

Oh, hi! I didn't see you there. Have you been waiting long? Just thought I'd stop in to blow the dust off this thing and drop you a few updates.

So, here I am with a few days "off". Fresh off of my last shift at the hospital for the Clinical phase of my course. It's been a great month: No exams looming in the near future, no scenarios to worry about. Just spending time at the hospital practicing skills and observing procedures (on real people, for once!). We spent at least one day in as many different units as we could, finishing up with four days in the ER. Some units were unbearably slow, some were too busy for me to even remember all of the things I'd seen. But for you, I will try.

I'd like to share with you some of the more interesting sights and lessons. I was originally going to squeeze it all in right now, but I think I'll break it up over several posts. I'm just too long-winded. If I wrote it all out now the sheer length of it would discourage anyone from reading. Just let me know if I wander too much. I'd hate to bore you. So! Let's see...

The Psych Ward:
I'm not sure what I was expecting to see here, but I was quite surprised. These weren't the kind of people that are in Hollywood's Psych wards. The people who think they are birds, or Abe Lincoln, or from the future. There was, however, one interesting case of a young man who was a hockey referee, but at any given time believed he was actually refereeing a game. Any time the Doctor would ask him to do something, the patient demanded to see the NHL rulebook. One time, after arguing in his room for several minutes, the Doctor came back to see us. We asked him how it went and he said, "Well, he gave me a ten minute misconduct."

Back to my point. The patients I met were there for a reason, obviously, but very few of them showed it. Several of them were among the most "normal" people that I met in the Hospital. Many of them had checked themselves in because they knew they needed help, they wanted help, and won't leave until they feel they are well again. For me, it was a great reality check. I have a lot of respect for those patients.

That was my first day in the hospital, and my only day in Psych. So I didn't see much of them for the rest of the month. I saw the occasional patient around the hospital, some looking much better than when I saw them in the ward, some not. One young guy had looked and sounded particularly down and out while wandering the halls. I had spoken to him, and noticed his smiles were few and far between. I spotted him on the sidewalk outside the hospital as we were driving in for our last shift, just the other day. Across the street from him were two girls out for a run in shorts and t-shirts. I glanced back to see him wearing one of the biggest smiles I have ever seen as they smiled back and ran by, followed by his gaze. We had a good laugh at that, but his face showed the look of someone who was just happy to be alive.

We all live for something, I guess. I'd say he's feeling better.

-AM

empty as a pocket

Murray Gets Pissed.

-AM

Filler.

In case you haven't already clicked on that link I've been sporting on this page, here are some reasons to become addicted to F*** My Life, which apparently just scored a book deal:

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

Today, my husband dropped me off at work, ten minutes later I got a text saying, "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few, baby, miss you". I asked him about it and he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. FML

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "Be my baby's daddy!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

-AM

For Testing Purposes.

Well, I've survived Hell Week (plus one day).

Hell Week, in case you're wondering, consisted of my entire class scrambling to get sign-offs before the due date on Tuesday, while studying for the mid-term exam on Wednesday, while studying for the mid-term scenario test on Thursday or Friday. One week. It was absolutely, off-the-wall insane.

Anyway, it's over with. I'm scheduled to work the Psych ward in the hospital tomorrow. That should be interesting... I really have no idea what to expect, but I'll try to come away with some interesting stories at least.

Well, I need to get to bed. I was taken out for my birthday tonight. It was a lot of fun, but I always had in the back of my mind the fact that I had to get up at 6am the next day. It didn't even feel like a birthday before we went out. It was the last thing on my mind and I constantly had to be reminded of it. We had an awesome time though. Now it's an awesome time for bed.

-AM

don't carry the world upon your shoulders

Tilt-shift, Time-lapse.

This is an unbelievable little short about a helicopter rescue made using tilt-shift photography, which makes any real-life scene look a set of miniatures. That, combined with time-lapse photography, creates an incredible effect. Please watch (in full-screen, it looks great).



-AM

Caution: Geek.

Yes, between Terminator, Star Trek, Transformers and G.I. Joe, there is a lot to look forward to.

This is the trailer for the new Star Trek, and I have to say, it kicks ass. JJ Abrams knows how to make a great show/movie.



-AM

Dear Fredericton.

Please fix the f%#&ing sidewalks in your city. I'm serious.

I, along with every other pedestrian in the city, am forced to walk on the road because the sidewalks are either too icy, or they just aren't there. I have to walk up Regent Street with cars whizzing past me going God-knows how fast. I can feel the side mirrors flying past my arm, but I still feel safer than I do on the sidewalk. Or as I call it (brace yourself...), the "suicide-walk". Yes, I said it.

I know I sound like a cranky old man, but I mean seriously. I was walking back from Sobey's and almost bought the farm when I slipped on the ice(sloping down toward the street, no less) just as an Acadian bus was going by.

Anyway, I've had enough. I just got in and this was fresh in my mind. I'll let them know. Good day.

-AM

slip-slidin' away

I Learned Something Today.

Have you ever been lying in bed, falling asleep, and just as you fall asleep a part of your body suddenly twitches? You feel like you've been falling and you just landed in bed when the twitch wakes you up? I know it happens to me all the time.

Well I've just learned that this is called a "hypnic jerk". It occurs when you haven't been getting enough sleep (sounds about right). Your body's muscles become so relaxed and non-functional that the body thinks it's falling. The twitch is supposedly your body's response to falling, that is, to quickly reach or kick out in order to get hold of something to keep from falling. It shows you how incredible the human brain is. Our instinctive reactions are active even in our sleep.

Anyway, I found that pretty interesting. I've always wondered what exactly was going on when that happens.













-AM

and i'm falling down

Duty Calls.

A little while ago I had a small dose of what my future might be like. Nothing too serious, but still interesting... to me.

We used to talk in class about what would happen if we came across an accident while in our school uniforms, which (other than the shirt) look almost identical to what actual paramedics wear around here. We'd worry that everyone would look at us and we'd have to say, "Um, I didn't read that chapter yet! It's next week!". How bad would that look? Luckily we had covered this particular chapter. Just basic first-aid, really.

An older man had fallen outside the Mall. Probably about 65-70. Poor guy slipped on some ice and went face first into an icy snowbank. I was just getting off one of the payphones inside the door when a lady rushed in, gave me a quick double-take, saw the uniform, then said, "Come with me, a man fell on the ice!". I made a quick point of saying, "First of all, I'm just a student... but of course I'll have a look". He had cut himself up pretty bad. Across the forehead, top of the nose where his glasses rested, bottom of his chin was pretty bloody. It was the steady stream of blood from his nostril that worried me, though. No one there had a phone, but I begged and pleaded with him to let us call an ambulance. He wasn't having any of that. Just call his daughter, he said. No pain other than those cuts. I figured he must have broken his nose but it was stable, and there was no pain there, either. So I just bandaged him up with a first-aid kit someone had. Bleeding stopped, but still blood everywhere. Luckily I had some gloves in my pocket from school. Now I always carry at least a pair with me. People still laugh at school when, at the end of the day, I stop by the "glove-boxes" and fill my pockets. You never know.

If I didn't have any gloves with me I would have been terrified to get near this guy's face. That brings me to another thought: It's amazing how much safer and more confident you feel with just a thin layer of plastic over your hands. It's like they aren't your hands anymore. You're controlling them, but they aren't a part of your body. It's quite an impressive psychological effect. Whereas I'd normally hate to simply pick up a rotten grape with my bare hands, with those gloves on, I mean... well you probably wouldn't want to know.

So that little experience had quite an effect on me. Now when I walk home(when I have lots of time to daydream), it's all I think about. That middle-aged lady shoveling snow, what if she clutched her chest and hit the ground as I walked by? That kid in the middle of the cross-walk, what if the truck driver on his cell phone didn't see the red light? What would I do? Would I know what to do? At this point I'm pretty sure I could handle it, but still, that's what I think about.
Because you never know.

I can't wait to get paid to do this.

-AM

i go walking in your landscape

The New Terminator.

Sweet Robot Jesus, this looks amazing.



-AM

I'll pass, thanks.

I have never seen such an (in)effective deterrent.























-AM

Yeeeah...

Sorry about my angry little rant the other day. I was feeling a little "out of sorts", and by that I mean "probably still drunk". I meant everything I said, though. I just needed to vent, and I happened to find someone worth directing it at.

So anyway, I found this for you:



Aaaand, also this:



That is all. Good day.

-AM

wow that's funny

On A Lighter Note.

This + this =



-AM

Something isn't right.

You might know that it takes a lot to piss me off, but this absolutely infuriates me. I actually had to keep myself from watching it over and over again because every time I see it, my blood just starts to boil. The girl in this video is 15 years old, and she was arrested for grand theft auto. That's it. Now, obviously she's no saint, but I will be damned if I can find any reason for this to have happened:



That's right! The girl literally did nothing to the officer, and the scumbag takes her down like she's just killed someone. You can't deny this. The officer even said he did it because the girl was, get this, being "real lippy". Excuse me?! Pardon my language, but I hope to God this piece of shit doesn't have any kids of his own. If this is what you do when a kid is being lippy, then you might as well just give every parent out there a license to kill. When someone is being "lippy", you can talk back, you can tell them to shut it, or you can just close the damn door because who the hell cares what she's saying?! It requires no physical contact, let alone a complete beat down. I mean look at the way he grabs her hair, twists her neck and slams her face into the ground. I've seen a lot of cops on some pretty serious power trips, but this is just insane. He could have killed that girl!

He has been charged with assault, thankfully. And, not really surprising, he's pleaded not guilty. Yeah, good luck with that. And I love this typical quote from the cop's lawyer: "We had argued strenuously that the video tape released to the media this morning not be released because it does not tell the whole story of the incident." Well guess what? Fuck you. We just saw the whole story. Here is an article about it if you think I'm being harsh.

When officers are charged, I tend to be skeptical as to whether they'll be fairly dealt with, but I don't really have any doubt that he'll be convicted here. I will be interested to see what the punishment is, though. I think they should lock him up in that room with the girl's Father, and turn the camera off...

-AM

(Side note: Google needs to work on their ad placement)

i'm not here, this isn't happening

By Louis CK.

Everything's Amazing, and Nobody's Happy.

This man has taken everything I've felt, or wanted to say about people today, made it hilarious and said it a million times better than I could have. We are so spoiled.

Watch more SpikedHumor videos on AOL Video

His line about the internet guy on the airplane (and the rest of the flying bit) almost made me spit my drink out.

-AM

Oh, Bjork.

She is a perfectly crazy person.



"I read that in a Danish book.... this morning."

Classic :)

-AM

A Note.

We have such an amazing class, and this year has been absolutely crazy. It's sad to think that we only have about 3 days left together! When I think about the first days of school compared to these days, it blows my mind. To think of how shy some of us were, and the way we are now. It feels like 8 years have passed, not 8 months.

This is by far the best class I have ever been a part of. It feels like we're all best friends when we're at school. Everyone knows everyone and we all get along. I mean, of course there are those that can drive you up the wall occasionally, but what kind of family doesn't have at least one? For the most part though, I think we've all developed the same mentality and sense of humour, which tends to get out of control from time to time... I guess that happens when you're stuck with the same group of people 5-ish days a week, 7-ish hours a day. I think we'd all rather laugh with (or at) each other than take our work too seriously.

Personally, I wouldn't be able to put up with the workload everyday if I couldn't wake up knowing that no matter how difficult the day ahead was going to be, I'd probably spend more time laughing than not. I know we'll see each other again before the year is out, but I will miss all of you crazy bastards.












-AM

craning your neck at my car wreck

Chop Chop.

Thought I'd pass along a few photos from our Auto-Extrication Day at the Firehall. Most of you have probably seen these, but here they are for the rest of the interwebs:

This is me stabilizing the neck while the helmet comes off:















Some Firefighters cutting up the "B" post on an old Neon. The cars we used were write-offs from earlier accidents. There are students under the orange tarp, in order to see what it's like from a patient's perspective as the car is being cut away:















A Dodge Caravan, much like my family's old van, has undergone a slight alteration:














The Neon is looking more like a dune-buggy now:















Finishing off the final door:















While examining the remnants, I came across some telling evidence. Perhaps the weather wasn't to blame for the downfall of this particular vehicle! Hmm...















-AM

don't drink and drive

1 Week Left.

Tomorrow is auto extrication day... in a snow-storm no less! It's gonna be a great day. The entire class together pulling each other out of smashed up cars. Smashed up before we get in them of course. I'll try to get some good pictures for you.

-AM

Desperate Times.

It's crunch time at school...

Skills sign-offs are due to be complete in about 3-ish weeks or so. Without them we can't continue on to Clinical and Preceptorship time. And most of us aren't really anywhere even remotely close to being finished. We're pulling out all of the stops now. Forming alliances, and keeping after-school lab sessions secret from each other so that fewer people show up, therefore freeing up more time for us each to complete scenarios... oh yes, it's on.

-AM

i've been meaning to call you

Shenanigans.

-AM

Lab Days.

I'm a little torn about our Thursday lab days.

On one hand, they usually go by pretty quickly because they're interactive, we're up and about doing things, joking around and having a good time. And the faster we get through them the faster we get to Friday, which is obviously a good thing (it was a little better when Fridays were optional). Lab days can be fun.

On the other hand, they are by far the. most. stressful. days of the week. And many times I would rather die than perform a scenario in front of my class that I know I'm going to fail. But that's how we learn, right? So, like everyone else, I just suck it up and do what I can while trying to hide my terror. Doesn't make it any less stressful though.

So I guess those two extremes kind of cancel each other out in a way. I can run through the full range of emotions and stress levels, but at the end of the day I'm neutral again. A strange day indeed.

-AM

just a pocketbook Brando

Bad Timing.

Of course we would have one of our biggest tests of the year this Monday. The Monday following UFC Saturday and Superbowl Sunday. Gimme a break!

On the bright side, GSP kicked BJ Penn's ass.

-AM

Zen.

Does anyone else do this?

Because this city is small enough that I can walk everywhere, I do walk everywhere. I always listen to music when I walk. I think I've been doing this for a long time, but I've only just recently noticed that I've actually stopped measuring time with, well, actual time. Now I measure it in songs. For example: A walk to the superstore takes, on average, about 4 songs. A walk home from school takes about an album. This has completely changed my life. I actually think of time as a number of songs. I don't think there's any going back now.

I noticed it as I was walking to the store tonight with not much else to think about. Actually, that's why I listen to music while I walk. It clears my head. It sort of stops my mind from wandering into daydreams too much (Which is a bigger problem for me than you might believe). It forces me to stick to observing, rather than analyzing. Example: One day, on my way home from school, the batteries in my MP3 player died. My precious Creative Zen. There is no worse sight than a flashing red bar where the battery charge should be (Am I right?). So I actually cursed quite loudly. Maybe I was in a bad mood because of that, but I found myself mentally cursing all of the people who were walking towards me on the wrong side of the very narrow, snowy sidewalk. And when there was no-one on the walk, I was thinking about those people cutting me off and forcing me into the snow, albeit only ankle-deep.

I know, right? Stupid. Relax.

Then today, while walking to the store, I had my music. Fleet Foxes are the flavor of the week. The only thing I actually remember thinking about is how the crescent moon, in a clear night sky like tonight's, always reminds me of the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland. I'd much rather spend my time comparing life to cartoons, that's for sure.

Well I'm out for now, folks. I'm re-certifying my CPR tomorrow morning, and I have to be up in about, oh, 9 albums or so. 'Til we speak again.

-AM

the stars will rise again

Just Watched...

Slumdog Millionaire. It was... meh. Entertaining I guess, worth a watch. But I don't see what all the hype is about when you compare it to other movies that have come out recently. It sort of reminded me of City of God, a Brazilian film. Check it out. I actually liked it quite a bit more than Slumdog.

The Wrestler was great. A very different style for Darren Aronofsky. That is, it was normal. Love his movies. If you're bored or high or both, and you feel like a really slow, artsy kind of poetic film then watch The Fountain. I think I ruled out a lot of people with that last sentence, but give it a shot! It's one of those movies that you should watch alone at 2AM. So take that as you will.

Most of all, if anyone is reading this go rent or download The Fall. And get Boy A while you're at it. Two of the best movies I've seen in a long time. I can't remember the last time I didn't want a movie to end. You won't regret watching them.

'Night.

-AM

(slow clap)