Closed Doors.

First rotation is over with. It had it's quiet moments, and a few interesting calls in between. I'm definitely making huge steps in ping pong.

On my fourth shift, overnight, we were called to a stabbing at an apartment downtown. It was pouring rain and about 2am at this time. As we were arriving, our dispatch added that it was possibly self inflicted. We got to the scene along with three police officers. They entered first and we followed. It was a big, run down, dirty place on the middle floor of a house. The hallway light didn't work, so they used their flashlights. It turns out most of the lights didn't work, and no one would answer their calls of "City Police!", so we had to go looking.

I've always told myself that I would never do anything that could get me hurt at work, or killed. I was just so caught up in how cool it all was. I felt like I was on a cop show. Knocking on doors in dark rooms and then throwing the door open if no one answered. It occurred to me after opening a couple doors that this was a stabbing call, and what if the "stabber" was still here? So then I was a bit more cautious. I looked down a dark hallway and at the end I saw another door, this one with light coming from around the edges. Maybe I've watched too many movies, but it was one of the scariest things I've ever seen. The "ones with the guns" went first, and I think we were all expecting to find a body on the floor. I hate to be anti-climactic, but there was nothing.

To me that was even more strange. The apartment was totally quiet, nobody around. No blood. The police never found anyone and we were never called back. I thought I was finally going to get to see something other than a patient being short of breath. Maybe next time, if I'm lucky... and someone else isn't.

-AM

i am the son and heir of nothing in particular

Dead Leaves.

-AM

Reverse Order.

I sort of noticed an interesting little trend recently.

A friend and I were having a discussion about how our parents are getting into newer technology, but how we are getting into older things. For example, our parents are learning how to use their Ipods, whereas we are huddled around record players. We'd laugh at our parents as they can't seem to figure out the buttons, and wonder why the music won't start when they push "play", but then at the same time I sit staring at my record player wondering why it won't spin. Working with older technology will certainly take you down a notch. Not so smart now, huh?

I love going to the theater, it's one of my favourite things to do. I just being there, I love the atmosphere and I love seeing a new movie. Lately though, My parents will ask if I've been to the theater to see the latest movies, and I haven't, because I've been staying in watching movies from the 40s and 50s. They're better than a lot of what's out now, I can tell you. Sunset Boulevard, Casablanca, Vertigo... it's the dialogue that I love. There's a reason these are considered classics. There isn't a single line in one of those movies that doesn't have to be there. Every line is essential to the feel and story. They knew how to write a movie back then.

So if you can find a cheap record player, buy it. Best Buy sells records now, there's a reason for that, too. And the next time you find yourself wandering around Blockbuster for hours trying to make up your mind, try searching out some of those movies that you've heard about, but always thought were "too old to be good". That was my problem, but I learned a lesson and discovered some new favourites. Give them a chance.

-AM

we all shine on

Why, Fox? WHY!?!

-AM

FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

Day One.

It's in the books.

I have to say, I had a great time. Despite anything keeping me down, I couldn't help but feel a bit happy riding around in the back of that ambulance. There has been so much pressure put on us over this school year, I was beginning to second guess myself. Did I make a mistake? Can I actually do this?

As I sat there I realized that I was not so nervous, and I felt like I was doing what I should be doing. For one thing, my preceptor and his partner are great. I don't think I could have asked for a better one. That can make or break a student. Now it's all up to me. And really, it's fun to ride around and basically just hang out, until that next call comes. The calls are obviously the highlight of the day for the medics. That's one thing that I found very refreshing to see. I guess I've worked too many jobs in the past with too many other disgruntled employees. Instead of grumbling when Medic Center calls their truck number, they perk up.

That's not to say they don't enjoy the down time. I witnessed a pretty epic ping-pong match today at one of our posts. My eyes were glued to that ball. I mean, the two medics I was riding with, they are amazing at ping-pong. Seriously. Watched some movies too. I think you'd be surprised just how much of that goes on. The Paramedic Academy should put "learn to play ping-pong and become a movie critic" in their next brochure. I just wish they taught ping-pong at our school, then I might have a chance. On the other hand, maybe it's not such a good idea to beat my preceptor at his own game. Or anything.

-AM

nothing lasts forever, and we both know hearts can change

Penniless And Tired.

Nothing terribly special about this video, though it does seem pretty fitting, and his obvious love of goats is maybe a little disturbing. The video is right out of the 70s, only this was made last year. I've just been listening to this band a lot lately, and this song especially.

He Doesn't Know Why by Fleet Foxes


-AM

would you wait for me?

Another One Down.

Well I've passed PHTLS. It was a pretty intense and stressful couple of days, especially after 99% of the class failed the pre-test! But it's done. As far as I know most of the class made it through.

Now, I'm moving onto preceptorship. Starts Monday morning. 6am. I'm definitely a little nervous, because I don't quite know what to expect, in terms of what I'll be doing for the first week or so. I'm not quite ready to lead a call so I might have to observe and get into the swing of things first. Running a call on a sick human being is a hell of a lot different than goofing around in class with a mannequin. I've got the basics down, which was the whole point, but when you have someone in front of you who can hardly breathe... well, "stressful" would be an understatement.

I hear my preceptor is a good guy, though, so as long as he understands that I'm nervous, and doesn't mind answering endless streams of questions then I think we'll get along fine. This is a huge step... here goes.

*************************************

Oh, and here's another cool video for you.

Autumn Story by Firekites



Another stop-motion clip. We all know how hard it is to erase a chalk board and keep it clean. What I love about this video is that they used it to their advantage. After each frame they erase the previous image, leaving a faded outline of it behind the new one. Oh, and I love the teeth falling down to become a house.

Speak soon...

-AM

things fall apart

Sleep To Dream.

These are just too good to not share with you. So here's one more.

Her Morning Elegance by Oren Lavie



"In this stop motion video, a young woman is seen literally walking through her dreams, all from her bed."

There will be more to come, I'm sure.

Right now I'm busy cramming for my PHTLS exam and scenario tomorrow... wish me luck. I always need it.

-AM

Genius.

-AM

Moving Pictures!

Since it seems like you can't watch them anywhere else these days, here's another interesting music video (full-screen button is right beside the "vimeo" logo, hit it):

Skeleton Boy by Friendly Fires



"The three piece band plays and dances around in a small room dressed all in black as small white styrofoam balls are blown around. A skeleton is outlined on each of their outfits with double sided tape and as the song progresses, more and more styrofoam sticks to the tape, creating the outline of a skeleton."

Brilliant.

-AM

Part Two - The ER (Bad Luck).

(Survived the trip to Montreal and back, by the way. Although some people out there still need to learn the art of "driving to arrive".)

Now before we start, I want to remind you to read my little "disclaimer" beside my photo there on the top right. Although the events here are more or less unchanged, I took some liberties with the identifying details. I'm a little paranoid, but in this business, I believe that's an advantage.

So, I want to tell you about the night I spent helping out in the ER, which just so happened to be the night of Last Class Bash. The night that students from both Universities in this relatively small town are celebrating the end of their classes. Drinking, obviously. Every single person we met after about 10 pm had been drinking. I'm not exaggerating either, I mean everyone.

Although they had all been drinking, some were not to blame for whatever put them in the hospital that night. Some certainly were. (This is really the night that inspired my previous written post). Drunk patients with their drunk friends. With various injuries: serious, minor, or imagined. Self-inflicted or otherwise, we saw it all that night. And although alcohol was always a factor somehow, and some patients may very well have deserved what they got, some were just plain unlucky. It seemed to become a theme for the night.

My first indication of this was a young man who was walking across a fast food parking lot, minding his own business, and was hit by a speeding car. It was a hit and run. Apparently the patient was also seizing on scene. He did have some pre-existing neurological problems. When he was brought in, he seemed to be alert, although quite anxious. The nurse began with the quick, basic neuro exam which consists of asking the patient their name, date, where they are, and what happened to them. He passed the first question just fine, "My name is Joey", (not the real name, of course). The nurse asked, "Do you know the date?". Reply, "My name is Joey... my name is Joey". Okay... yes, we've established that, but can you tell me what happened to you? "I don't know... my name is Joey, my name is Joey...". Obviously a fractured leg was no longer the main concern.

While I was with this patient, I overheard a radio patch to another ambulance. Two unresponsive patients at a motor vehicle accident. I knew we'd be getting no sleep tonight. They wheeled them in. These guys were in rough shape. All cuts and bruises and road rash. Fading in and out of consciousness. I learned that they had both been drinking. One was the driver, the other his passenger. They had gone off the road, single vehicle accident, and rolled the car into a field. Only the passenger was well enough to leave the car and return to the road to flag down help. In keeping with our theme, as he walked to the side of the road he was struck by another car. Another hit and run. The next driver to pass by called 911.

Shortly after that, another unfortunate young man came through the doors. The story here was that he had stepped in front of a car and had broken his femur. Now this is not just another broken bone, femur fractures are taken very seriously. The reason is that your femoral artery travels just parallel to the bone down your leg. When there is a complete fracture there is also the danger that the broken bone could sever the artery, causing you to bleed out.

He had obviously not touched the artery, so first on the to-do list was to stabilize the broken femur. The doctor and nurses fiddled with the traction splint while I stood back. (I began to explain how to use it, because we had many times in class, but I'm "just a student", so they didn't pay me much attention. Others were more receptive, but I knew when to just back off). The patient had been sedated for the splinting, and if you've ever had a bone re-set, you'll know why. Something that was interesting to see was how much the leg had been shortened. He had suffered a complete fracture, so the muscles and tendons in the leg pulled the bones together, looking something like this. Leaving his left leg about 3 inches shorter that his right. The doctor stretched his leg down to even the length, and I grabbed a hold of his thigh to hold the fracture steady. I'll tell you, I have never felt anything quite like it. There was nothing holding his thigh together, the flesh and muscle were like jelly in my hands. Sorry, that was gross. I still have to get used to telling these stories.

The splint was applied. Unfortunately, during the procedure, the effect of the sedation had been amplified by the amount of alcohol in his system. Just as I let go of his leg, he stopped breathing. The respiratory therapist began to ventilate him with the bag valve mask (BVM). I pitched in and took over. He was fine, but he was so heavily sedated that his body could not breathe for itself. Another first for me. The responsibility of knowing that if you don't squeeze air into this man's lungs, he will die. Obviously there were lots of people around to keep an eye on him, but still, it's a feeling that will control you. And when I would test his body's respiratory effort, by removing the mask to see if he could breathe on his own, and nothing would happen, I'd realize just how much we depend on others to keep us alive when we are unconscious and have no idea what's happening. That drove home the fact that I can't be getting into this job for the recognition.

I was with him, squeezing the BVM and holding his jaw up to keep his tongue out of his throat, for about 40 minutes before he recovered. All of this, and all the while I am thinking, "Why did he step in front of that car? Suicide attempt, just drunk and being stupid?". I put it down to alcohol and that he had probably made some sort of terribly stupid decision. When he awoke, he told his parents the story, who then passed it onto me. I learned to always wait for the first person account. Apparently he had just left his building, and as he walked past, saw several others beating up a younger man beside the building. He went over to see what was happening, and tried to pull off one of the attackers. All he wanted to do was help. They immediately turned their attention to him, and began to chase him. He ran, and as he ran he came to a snowbank. He ran over the bank, and landed in the road, and was immediately struck by the car.

Bad luck.

-AM

the only living boy in New York

This dude could definitely kick your ass.

-AM

Help!

Some people wonder how we can show sympathy for certain patients who may have caused their own problems. The ones that have "brought it on themselves".

I often wondered this same thing, and I was worried that I might not be able to treat all patients the same way. Sometimes it is hard, I won't lie. I met a patient who was hooked up to every machine imaginable. Tubes down his throat, several IV lines in each arm, machines basically doing all of the work. It was hard to watch him lay there struggling to live. I wondered how someone could end up this way, and how unfair it seemed. The nurse told me that he had smoked at least a pack of cigarettes a day for almost 40 years. I stopped wondering, and any questions of fairness vanished. It was hard not to keep that in mind as we were with him, but we didn't change the way we treated him.

I'm no longer worried about how I'll treat patients. I've proven to myself that I can look past their downfalls. It could be because I'm new to this, and I get too nervous to think about anything other than what I'm supposed to be doing, but I have a feeling that I won't change. I'll make a conscious effort not to. It's not our job to treat based on lifestyle preferences, no matter how much they have been to blame for someone's current condition. That night, especially, I learned that when I'm standing next to a patient on a hospital bed, the only thing on my mind is that I want to help.

-AM

i need somebody, not just anybody

Food Fight.

This is an odd little animation that recreates conflicts from WWII up to present day warfare... with food. The food of each country involved. Strange, yes, but strangely entertaining. Or maybe it's just me. (The pile of pasta looking stuff is beef stroganoff, by the way. Russian.)



Hope this does you over until I finish writing up the next little updates. In the meantime I'm also trying to squeeze in some practice and studying for school. Never a dull moment anymore.

-AM