The Laws of EMS.

I'm sure most people in EMS have probably seen this, but for those who haven't:

The Laws of Emergency Medical Services:

1. Skin signs tell all.
2. Sick people don't bitch.
3. Air goes in and out, blood goes round and round, any variation of this is a bad thing.
4. Newbies have their own way of doing things.
5. The more equipment you see on a paramedic's belt, the newer they are.
6. There is no rule 6.
7. When dealing with patients, supervisors, or citizens: If it felt good saying it, it was the wrong thing to say.
8. All bleeding stops... eventually.
9. All people will eventually die, no matter what you do.
10. If the child is quiet, be scared.
11. Always follow the rules, but be wise enough to break them sometimes.
12. If the patient vomits in the rig try to hold their head to the side of the rig with the disposable equipment, not the stuff you have to clean.
13. If someone dies by chemical hazards, electrical shocks or other on-scene dangers it should be the patient, not you.
14. Any EMT, FF, and/or scene chief who is more drunk (or more stupid) than the patient is the real problem.
15. There will be problems.
16. You can't cure stupid.
17. If it's wet and sticky and not yours, LEAVE IT ALONE!
18. If at all possible, avoid any edible item that firefighters prepare, especially the tuna casserole.
19. Heaven protects Fools and Drunks.
20. EMS is extended periods of intense boredom, interrupted by occasional moments of sheer terror.
21. Every Emergency has three phases PANIC, FEAR, AND REMORSE.
22. You are bound to get a call either during dinner, while you are on the can, or at 2:00am in the middle of a great dream.
23. Rocket scientists that get into stupid car crashes are the first ones to complain how bumpy the ambulance ride is.
24. The severity of the injury(s) is directly proportional to the difficulty in accessing, as well as the weight, of the patient.
25. Turret mounted machine guns usually work better than lights and sirens.
26. Make sure the rookie paramedic knows that a med patch is a radio term, and not a medicated bandage.
27. Paramedics save lives; But it's EMT skills that save Paramedics.
28. When a patient vomits outside, be sure to aim it at the citizens who wouldn't back up.
29. Never trust your rig, drug box, or airway bag to be fully stocked. In spite of the assurances of the offgoing crew.
30. If you don't have it, don't give up. Adapt, Improvise, Overcome, (then call for a second unit).
31. There is no such thing as a "textbook case".
32. Newbies always look for large things in the smallest compartments and vice-versa.
33. There is no such thing as a bad call. Only calls that didn't go the way you planned.
34. If there are no drunks at a Motor Vehicle Accident after midnight, keep looking, someone is missing.
35. Just because you're paranoid does not mean the Supervisor isn't around the corner.