Filler.

In case you haven't already clicked on that link I've been sporting on this page, here are some reasons to become addicted to F*** My Life, which apparently just scored a book deal:

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

Today, my husband dropped me off at work, ten minutes later I got a text saying, "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few, baby, miss you". I asked him about it and he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. FML

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "Be my baby's daddy!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

-AM