Saturday, March 21, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Filler.
In case you haven't already clicked on that link I've been sporting on this page, here are some reasons to become addicted to F*** My Life, which apparently just scored a book deal:
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML
Today, my husband dropped me off at work, ten minutes later I got a text saying, "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few, baby, miss you". I asked him about it and he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "Be my baby's daddy!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
-AM
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML
Today, my husband dropped me off at work, ten minutes later I got a text saying, "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few, baby, miss you". I asked him about it and he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "Be my baby's daddy!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
-AM
Monday, March 16, 2009
For Testing Purposes.
Well, I've survived Hell Week (plus one day).
Hell Week, in case you're wondering, consisted of my entire class scrambling to get sign-offs before the due date on Tuesday, while studying for the mid-term exam on Wednesday, while studying for the mid-term scenario test on Thursday or Friday. One week. It was absolutely, off-the-wall insane.
Anyway, it's over with. I'm scheduled to work the Psych ward in the hospital tomorrow. That should be interesting... I really have no idea what to expect, but I'll try to come away with some interesting stories at least.
Well, I need to get to bed. I was taken out for my birthday tonight. It was a lot of fun, but I always had in the back of my mind the fact that I had to get up at 6am the next day. It didn't even feel like a birthday before we went out. It was the last thing on my mind and I constantly had to be reminded of it. We had an awesome time though. Now it's an awesome time for bed.
-AM
don't carry the world upon your shoulders
Hell Week, in case you're wondering, consisted of my entire class scrambling to get sign-offs before the due date on Tuesday, while studying for the mid-term exam on Wednesday, while studying for the mid-term scenario test on Thursday or Friday. One week. It was absolutely, off-the-wall insane.
Anyway, it's over with. I'm scheduled to work the Psych ward in the hospital tomorrow. That should be interesting... I really have no idea what to expect, but I'll try to come away with some interesting stories at least.
Well, I need to get to bed. I was taken out for my birthday tonight. It was a lot of fun, but I always had in the back of my mind the fact that I had to get up at 6am the next day. It didn't even feel like a birthday before we went out. It was the last thing on my mind and I constantly had to be reminded of it. We had an awesome time though. Now it's an awesome time for bed.
-AM
don't carry the world upon your shoulders
Tilt-shift, Time-lapse.
This is an unbelievable little short about a helicopter rescue made using tilt-shift photography, which makes any real-life scene look a set of miniatures. That, combined with time-lapse photography, creates an incredible effect. Please watch (in full-screen, it looks great).
-AM
-AM
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Caution: Geek.
Yes, between Terminator, Star Trek, Transformers and G.I. Joe, there is a lot to look forward to.
This is the trailer for the new Star Trek, and I have to say, it kicks ass. JJ Abrams knows how to make a great show/movie.
-AM
This is the trailer for the new Star Trek, and I have to say, it kicks ass. JJ Abrams knows how to make a great show/movie.
-AM
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Dear Fredericton.
Please fix the f%#&ing sidewalks in your city. I'm serious.
I, along with every other pedestrian in the city, am forced to walk on the road because the sidewalks are either too icy, or they just aren't there. I have to walk up Regent Street with cars whizzing past me going God-knows how fast. I can feel the side mirrors flying past my arm, but I still feel safer than I do on the sidewalk. Or as I call it (brace yourself...), the "suicide-walk". Yes, I said it.
I know I sound like a cranky old man, but I mean seriously. I was walking back from Sobey's and almost bought the farm when I slipped on the ice(sloping down toward the street, no less) just as an Acadian bus was going by.
Anyway, I've had enough. I just got in and this was fresh in my mind. I'll let them know. Good day.
-AM
slip-slidin' away
I, along with every other pedestrian in the city, am forced to walk on the road because the sidewalks are either too icy, or they just aren't there. I have to walk up Regent Street with cars whizzing past me going God-knows how fast. I can feel the side mirrors flying past my arm, but I still feel safer than I do on the sidewalk. Or as I call it (brace yourself...), the "suicide-walk". Yes, I said it.
I know I sound like a cranky old man, but I mean seriously. I was walking back from Sobey's and almost bought the farm when I slipped on the ice(sloping down toward the street, no less) just as an Acadian bus was going by.
Anyway, I've had enough. I just got in and this was fresh in my mind. I'll let them know. Good day.
-AM
slip-slidin' away
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
I Learned Something Today.
Have you ever been lying in bed, falling asleep, and just as you fall asleep a part of your body suddenly twitches? You feel like you've been falling and you just landed in bed when the twitch wakes you up? I know it happens to me all the time.
Well I've just learned that this is called a "hypnic jerk". It occurs when you haven't been getting enough sleep (sounds about right). Your body's muscles become so relaxed and non-functional that the body thinks it's falling. The twitch is supposedly your body's response to falling, that is, to quickly reach or kick out in order to get hold of something to keep from falling. It shows you how incredible the human brain is. Our instinctive reactions are active even in our sleep.
Anyway, I found that pretty interesting. I've always wondered what exactly was going on when that happens.
-AM
and i'm falling down
Well I've just learned that this is called a "hypnic jerk". It occurs when you haven't been getting enough sleep (sounds about right). Your body's muscles become so relaxed and non-functional that the body thinks it's falling. The twitch is supposedly your body's response to falling, that is, to quickly reach or kick out in order to get hold of something to keep from falling. It shows you how incredible the human brain is. Our instinctive reactions are active even in our sleep.
Anyway, I found that pretty interesting. I've always wondered what exactly was going on when that happens.
-AM
and i'm falling down
Duty Calls.
A little while ago I had a small dose of what my future might be like. Nothing too serious, but still interesting... to me.
We used to talk in class about what would happen if we came across an accident while in our school uniforms, which (other than the shirt) look almost identical to what actual paramedics wear around here. We'd worry that everyone would look at us and we'd have to say, "Um, I didn't read that chapter yet! It's next week!". How bad would that look? Luckily we had covered this particular chapter. Just basic first-aid, really.
An older man had fallen outside the Mall. Probably about 65-70. Poor guy slipped on some ice and went face first into an icy snowbank. I was just getting off one of the payphones inside the door when a lady rushed in, gave me a quick double-take, saw the uniform, then said, "Come with me, a man fell on the ice!". I made a quick point of saying, "First of all, I'm just a student... but of course I'll have a look". He had cut himself up pretty bad. Across the forehead, top of the nose where his glasses rested, bottom of his chin was pretty bloody. It was the steady stream of blood from his nostril that worried me, though. No one there had a phone, but I begged and pleaded with him to let us call an ambulance. He wasn't having any of that. Just call his daughter, he said. No pain other than those cuts. I figured he must have broken his nose but it was stable, and there was no pain there, either. So I just bandaged him up with a first-aid kit someone had. Bleeding stopped, but still blood everywhere. Luckily I had some gloves in my pocket from school. Now I always carry at least a pair with me. People still laugh at school when, at the end of the day, I stop by the "glove-boxes" and fill my pockets. You never know.
If I didn't have any gloves with me I would have been terrified to get near this guy's face. That brings me to another thought: It's amazing how much safer and more confident you feel with just a thin layer of plastic over your hands. It's like they aren't your hands anymore. You're controlling them, but they aren't a part of your body. It's quite an impressive psychological effect. Whereas I'd normally hate to simply pick up a rotten grape with my bare hands, with those gloves on, I mean... well you probably wouldn't want to know.
So that little experience had quite an effect on me. Now when I walk home(when I have lots of time to daydream), it's all I think about. That middle-aged lady shoveling snow, what if she clutched her chest and hit the ground as I walked by? That kid in the middle of the cross-walk, what if the truck driver on his cell phone didn't see the red light? What would I do? Would I know what to do? At this point I'm pretty sure I could handle it, but still, that's what I think about.
Because you never know.
I can't wait to get paid to do this.
-AM
i go walking in your landscape
We used to talk in class about what would happen if we came across an accident while in our school uniforms, which (other than the shirt) look almost identical to what actual paramedics wear around here. We'd worry that everyone would look at us and we'd have to say, "Um, I didn't read that chapter yet! It's next week!". How bad would that look? Luckily we had covered this particular chapter. Just basic first-aid, really.
An older man had fallen outside the Mall. Probably about 65-70. Poor guy slipped on some ice and went face first into an icy snowbank. I was just getting off one of the payphones inside the door when a lady rushed in, gave me a quick double-take, saw the uniform, then said, "Come with me, a man fell on the ice!". I made a quick point of saying, "First of all, I'm just a student... but of course I'll have a look". He had cut himself up pretty bad. Across the forehead, top of the nose where his glasses rested, bottom of his chin was pretty bloody. It was the steady stream of blood from his nostril that worried me, though. No one there had a phone, but I begged and pleaded with him to let us call an ambulance. He wasn't having any of that. Just call his daughter, he said. No pain other than those cuts. I figured he must have broken his nose but it was stable, and there was no pain there, either. So I just bandaged him up with a first-aid kit someone had. Bleeding stopped, but still blood everywhere. Luckily I had some gloves in my pocket from school. Now I always carry at least a pair with me. People still laugh at school when, at the end of the day, I stop by the "glove-boxes" and fill my pockets. You never know.
If I didn't have any gloves with me I would have been terrified to get near this guy's face. That brings me to another thought: It's amazing how much safer and more confident you feel with just a thin layer of plastic over your hands. It's like they aren't your hands anymore. You're controlling them, but they aren't a part of your body. It's quite an impressive psychological effect. Whereas I'd normally hate to simply pick up a rotten grape with my bare hands, with those gloves on, I mean... well you probably wouldn't want to know.
So that little experience had quite an effect on me. Now when I walk home(when I have lots of time to daydream), it's all I think about. That middle-aged lady shoveling snow, what if she clutched her chest and hit the ground as I walked by? That kid in the middle of the cross-walk, what if the truck driver on his cell phone didn't see the red light? What would I do? Would I know what to do? At this point I'm pretty sure I could handle it, but still, that's what I think about.
Because you never know.
I can't wait to get paid to do this.
-AM
i go walking in your landscape
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
Yeeeah...
Sorry about my angry little rant the other day. I was feeling a little "out of sorts", and by that I mean "probably still drunk". I meant everything I said, though. I just needed to vent, and I happened to find someone worth directing it at.
So anyway, I found this for you:
Aaaand, also this:
That is all. Good day.
-AM
wow that's funny
So anyway, I found this for you:
Aaaand, also this:
That is all. Good day.
-AM
wow that's funny
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Something isn't right.
You might know that it takes a lot to piss me off, but this absolutely infuriates me. I actually had to keep myself from watching it over and over again because every time I see it, my blood just starts to boil. The girl in this video is 15 years old, and she was arrested for grand theft auto. That's it. Now, obviously she's no saint, but I will be damned if I can find any reason for this to have happened:
That's right! The girl literally did nothing to the officer, and the scumbag takes her down like she's just killed someone. You can't deny this. The officer even said he did it because the girl was, get this, being "real lippy". Excuse me?! Pardon my language, but I hope to God this piece of shit doesn't have any kids of his own. If this is what you do when a kid is being lippy, then you might as well just give every parent out there a license to kill. When someone is being "lippy", you can talk back, you can tell them to shut it, or you can just close the damn door because who the hell cares what she's saying?! It requires no physical contact, let alone a complete beat down. I mean look at the way he grabs her hair, twists her neck and slams her face into the ground. I've seen a lot of cops on some pretty serious power trips, but this is just insane. He could have killed that girl!
He has been charged with assault, thankfully. And, not really surprising, he's pleaded not guilty. Yeah, good luck with that. And I love this typical quote from the cop's lawyer: "We had argued strenuously that the video tape released to the media this morning not be released because it does not tell the whole story of the incident." Well guess what? Fuck you. We just saw the whole story. Here is an article about it if you think I'm being harsh.
When officers are charged, I tend to be skeptical as to whether they'll be fairly dealt with, but I don't really have any doubt that he'll be convicted here. I will be interested to see what the punishment is, though. I think they should lock him up in that room with the girl's Father, and turn the camera off...
-AM
(Side note: Google needs to work on their ad placement)
i'm not here, this isn't happening
That's right! The girl literally did nothing to the officer, and the scumbag takes her down like she's just killed someone. You can't deny this. The officer even said he did it because the girl was, get this, being "real lippy". Excuse me?! Pardon my language, but I hope to God this piece of shit doesn't have any kids of his own. If this is what you do when a kid is being lippy, then you might as well just give every parent out there a license to kill. When someone is being "lippy", you can talk back, you can tell them to shut it, or you can just close the damn door because who the hell cares what she's saying?! It requires no physical contact, let alone a complete beat down. I mean look at the way he grabs her hair, twists her neck and slams her face into the ground. I've seen a lot of cops on some pretty serious power trips, but this is just insane. He could have killed that girl!
He has been charged with assault, thankfully. And, not really surprising, he's pleaded not guilty. Yeah, good luck with that. And I love this typical quote from the cop's lawyer: "We had argued strenuously that the video tape released to the media this morning not be released because it does not tell the whole story of the incident." Well guess what? Fuck you. We just saw the whole story. Here is an article about it if you think I'm being harsh.
When officers are charged, I tend to be skeptical as to whether they'll be fairly dealt with, but I don't really have any doubt that he'll be convicted here. I will be interested to see what the punishment is, though. I think they should lock him up in that room with the girl's Father, and turn the camera off...
-AM
(Side note: Google needs to work on their ad placement)
i'm not here, this isn't happening
Thursday, February 26, 2009
By Louis CK.
Everything's Amazing, and Nobody's Happy.
This man has taken everything I've felt, or wanted to say about people today, made it hilarious and said it a million times better than I could have. We are so spoiled.
His line about the internet guy on the airplane (and the rest of the flying bit) almost made me spit my drink out.
-AM
This man has taken everything I've felt, or wanted to say about people today, made it hilarious and said it a million times better than I could have. We are so spoiled.
Watch more SpikedHumor videos on AOL Video
His line about the internet guy on the airplane (and the rest of the flying bit) almost made me spit my drink out.
-AM
Oh, Bjork.
She is a perfectly crazy person.
"I read that in a Danish book.... this morning."
Classic :)
-AM
"I read that in a Danish book.... this morning."
Classic :)
-AM
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)